Put Down That Burger And Start Singing!

Don't you just hate shopping malls at Christmas time?

As if the Christmas rush weren't bad enough, the malls make it excruciating by pummeling you with piped-in Jingle Bells and getting whiny kids all worked up about sitting in the lap of an obese pedophile.

But seeing this video renewed my faith in the human race's ability to create beauty amidst commercial schlock -- and my hope that someone will drag Frosty the Snowman out by the dumpsters and beat him senseless. Here's some shopping mall Christmas music I could definitely Handel.

So watch, listen, and enjoy. And have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah (with Chinese food on the fifth day), a Festive Festivus, a Soulful Kwanzaa, a Far-Out Solstice, and a Joyous New Year.