Back when newspapers could afford readership consultants, reporters were told that people loved articles about children and animals.
Long articles about boring city council meetings? No way. Readers are passionate about sports, crime, and religion, the business-side folks like to say. They need interesting "art" to break up the grey type and to grab their attention. Anything longer than a "tweet" (140 characters) is likely to lose them.
Put all of that together, and here's what you get:
"Dear Lord, thank you for bringing me to Timmy's house and not to Michael Vick's. Amen."