Censor Me: The Magazine Slogans That Were Too Hot for Publishing Executive

Inspired by Bon Appetit’s “Bite me” advertising campaign, I asked my readers a few months ago to do their part for the magazine industry and offer suggestive slogans for other titles. The response was overwhelming.

Publishing Executive posted some of those slogans today in an article that appears in the publication’s May-June issue. But, referring to my readers as “perverts”, the good folks at PubExec decided some of the suggestions were a little too suggestive for a respected B2B magazine.

But they’re not too hot for a disreputable blog that relies on AdSense for most of its limited income. So here are the best of the proposed slogans that Publishing Executive decided not to publish:

• Road and Track: Grab my stick shift
• Food & Wine: Eat me, drink me
• National Geographic: Go around the world with me
• Southern Living: Inbreed with me
• Sailing: Play with my man in the boat
• AOPA Pilot: Mile high me
• The Priest: Be my altar boy
• National Hog Farmer: Pork me
• Modern Steel Construction: Erect me
• Lubes’n’Greases: Lubricate me
• Soft Drinks International: Mountain Dew me
• Elevator World: Shaft me
• The Carpenter Magazine: Nail me
• Tea & Coffee Journal: Teabag me
• Sport Diver: Go down with me
• Psychotherapy: Go crazy on me
• Journal of Neurosurgery: Drill my brains
• The American Journal of Orthopedics: Bone me

Oh, and what about the slogans for Cat Fancy and Dog Fancy that Publishing Executive saw fit to tone down? Let’s just say that the North American Publishing Company does not generally use the words “pussy” and “doggie” in its magazines.

Thanks to all the postal workers, publishers, printers, mailers, and other folks of twisted mind who submitted entries. And a special thanks to Patrick G. of Newport News, Virginia, who submitted slogans that were so naughty he should be spanked – except that wouldn’t exactly be punishment for him.

Now if we can just come up with a “Bite me” style slogan for Publishing Executive . . .

Related articles:

• How Two Words Can Lick What's Ailing Publisher: The original "Bite me" slogan suggestions.
• An Amazon Approach to Selling Magazine Subscriptions: More marketing ideas for the magazine industry.
• The “Bite Me” Billboard: Bon Appetit ad campaign called "a little downmarket".

How Two Words Can Lick What's Ailing Publishers

Halleleujah! We have found the two little words that will save the American magazine industry.

No, I’m not talking about calling ourselves "magazine media" as some advocate, or turning to "Chapter 11", as many publishers have done. I’m referring to Conde Nast’s new slogan for Bon Appetit: “Bite me.”

It’s just the kind of slogan we all need – a little bit naughty and oh so Me Generation. Just think of the possibilities if other publishers jump on the bandwagon:

• Candy Industry: “Lick me” (if Cosmopolitan doesn’t claim that first).
• Cigar Afficionado: “Smoke me.”
• The Economist: “Sleep with me.” (My eyes glaze over every time I try to look at those dreary pages with their egghead prose.)
• Hardware Retailing: “Drill me.”
• Rolling Stone: “See me. Feel me. Touch me. Heal me.”
• Vacuum International: Never mind.

And if Cycle World and Penthouse argue over who which one gets to say “Ride me,” they can always turn to The American Lawyer (“So sue me.”) for advice.

It’s enough to make this old print dinosaur feel tragically hip.

I’m calling on all magazine lovers to join the cause by suggesting “me” slogans for their favorite publications. You can email your ideas to dead.tree.edition@gmail.com or submit them as comments to this article.

As for me, I need to go work on implementing the new slogan for Dead Tree Edition: “Climb me.”


If you enjoyed this article, you have a really twisted sense of humor, which means you might also like these Dead Tree Edition attempts at humorous commentary on the magazine industry:  

• 9 Differences Between a School System and a Publishing Company: Lessons for Cathie Black
• Tina Brown Follows Husband's Footsteps -- Sort Of  
• Magazine Publishers: Asleep on the Job?