Our condolences go out to all the headline writers who are mourning the news that Richard Branson is not interested in acquiring Playboy Enterprises.
Imagine the headlines if Branson's Virgin Atlantic indeed pursued Hugh Hefner's troubled offspring: "Virgin Ogles Hefner's Assets" or "Virgin Hot for Playboy". That might cause the target's stock to rise: "Virgin Gooses Playboy".
If Branson's company bought part of Playboy: "Virgin Gets a Piece of Playboy". Or got it to accept a low-ball offer: "Playboy Goes Down for Virgin".
If Branson decided to break up the House of Hef: "Virgin Deflowers Playboy". And then fired Hefner: "Hef Loses Virgin-ity".